Yes and I almost forgot... LP will carry out his one year intern in Abbotsford, BC, a little less than an hour drive from Vancouver. AC does not fly Abbotsford, only Westjet does. Plane tickets are $1000 during high seasons, which adds to my depression! I take Air Miles donations. Merci!
I've been a little depressed lately as the wedding approaches. I realized when I think about wedding planning, I get depressed. How can this be? Who doesn't know I love wedding planning?! I have been avoiding wedding planning not that I don't want to marry LP, but because the more wedding planning I do, it means the closer it comes to the day I have to move away from Montreal. It was definitely easy to always say to myself and tell people that I have no worries and trust that God will watch over me. But I realized that deep down inside, I refuse to obey. I do not want to leave my comfort zone. Montreal and MCAC is my comfort zone. This is my home.
I have been a cry baby lately... every time I think about moving away, I cry. I cry during Sunday Service, I cry during choir practice, I cry when I pray, I cry in prayer meetings (you don't see me cry? I've been doing a good job hiding it, huh?). It definitely doesn't help when Pastor Chan counts down every single day for me and always keep track of "my lasts" at MCAC. "This is the last time you..." I just feel that no one understands how difficult it is for me to take this step. Every time I hint that I don't want to move away, all people say is "everything will be alright. You will start a new life and find new friends." But I don't want a new life, I don't want new friends. I feel that people think I am very independent and I can handle many things myself because I hardly show the other side of me, the very dependent side, the side that wants to be pampered for once. Or maybe... it is the complete opposite. I am WAY too pampered at MCAC.
I wish I can end this post by saying "I know that God will watch over me and all I have to do is to trust and obey." But I can't just yet...
Now I am off to get my gowns altered.
No, I didn't loose or gain weight (unfortunately). They just never fit. They looked like a perfect fit in our wedding portraits, huh? Pastor Chan didn't notice either when he took our photos. I think lately I have been good at hiding things and making things seem perfectly fine even though it just doesn't feel that way deep down inside.
Just finishing the last of the invites that will go out this weekend. FINALLY! My printerS have been going on non-stop for a while now, inkjet on the left printing the inserts and laser on the right printing the envelopes. I'm surprised they are still surviving!
I am also in the middle of finish the last of my customer orders. Hopefully, I will not be tempted to take on anymore jobs since I really do need to start my own wedding planning.
This past weekend, it was a fun weekend down in Toronto with Ming, Johnny & Goh Goh. We didn't really do much, but it was fun and relaxing. Food, food, food & more food and also some Game Cube in the evening at the hotel was just great.
I've been meaning to blog about this for a while now, but didn't get a chance to. Pastor Chan recently did a 7 week workshop on the book of Daniel. For those of you who understands Cantonese, you can listen to the workshops from our MCAC website (titled: 「不變的神、不渝的信」但以理書研經聚會. The workshops really spoke to me and reminded me that all I have to do is to trust in God and that He will provide the best place for us to serve. I was reminded not to worry about LP's intern placement. I shouldn't have preference to a church based on location (close to Montreal), the people, or other things. This is not about me, but rather, I should look at where God wants LP to learn. We should put things in the perspective of "forever," then we will realize that things are so little and so tiny. Being close to Montreal, my family and MCAC is not so important anymore compare to "forever." It's time to let go!
The intern placements will be announced on May 2. We are anxiously waiting on God...
My panic attack only lasted for probably 24 hours... I wish I am still in panic mode so I can get stuff done faster...
Pastor Chan emailed me again today... 88 days left! People keep asking about it and telling me my mom is really nervous that I am not nervous at all.
I shall begin producing my invitations soon, probably tonight... I wonder if I'll be able to get them done by next weekend. That's probably really pushing it since I still have to take care of a few of my customer's orders first.
I went dress shopping with my 4 bridesmaids on Good Friday... no luck! I didn't think it would be easy to agree on dresses, but didn't think it would be that difficult! I already told them I am not picky, as long as the dresses are in the same shade of (baby) blue and in the same materials, I'm okay with whatever styles they choose. Somehow, they still can't decide...
On my list of things to do (hopefully) by the end of next week:
- Purchase materials for our invitations
- Book Videographer
- Book Dove Release
- Visit Reception Hall with parents, GM & PC
- Make a list of people who will be singing in the choir
Oh and also! We got news on the intern placement locations. Three of them are in tiny little towns out in Albert somewhere, never heard of those tiny little towns. There is a Chinese Lutheran Church that requested a student intern, but they're out in Vancouver. The closest to Montreal is Waterloo. WATERLOO! Pray pray pray!
Pastor Chan called me earlier today to remind me that there are only 102 days left until my wedding! I've officially started to be in mini-panic mode! Yet... I still slacked off today doing some other less important stuff.
I wonder if I'll ever be in full-panic mode...
